I will survive

Well, lots has happened in the last week or so. Month or so to be more descript. When it rains it pours.
I'm not engaged anymore, and so that's a major one. To say the least. And there is health problems in my family that is worrying me. And directions in life are all over the place it feels like at the moment.
You know, that fleeting feeling of wandering and never settling down. The dreams of your life just slipping away...and there's not a lot you can do but keep going somehow. I hate that I sound so pessimistic but that's how I feel at the moment.
Friendships that are changed...hope for the future is low.
That we're not engaged will be okay in the end. i'd rather find out that we can't work it out now than later and be even more unhappy. I sometimes wonder about how it all happened. if there wasnt anything more we could do. If we made the right or wrong decisions. Life certainly doesn't have straight lines. But what do you do with the curvy ones? And the ones that all seem to end at a cliff that you pretty much fall down over.
Anyway, I should be glad that I've had the chance to be engaged to such an important friend in my life. I'm just unbelievably sad that it can't come true. But glad that we gave it a chance. He means the world to me, even now...and even if I'm feeling angry and bitter and going through the pains of separation.
So now you all know...but that's life. And I hope that someone out there can see that they're not the only one.